Hello and welcome to the 50th edition of the Yellow River Chronicles.  Yes, dear readers, we have been gathering around the virtual fireside to share anecdotes and other fabrications for about a week and a year here at the now venerable YRC.

First, thank you for coming along on a journey which has covered many parts of the Other Side of the World.  And what a journey it has been.  To continue in our perky and positive tradition, the Staff got together over a shaker or two of vodka Martinis and our travel journals to produce our first Top Ten List.

To get you in that Celebrating in the People's Republic of China mode, we have the trailer from the film "Beginning of the Great Revival," released when the Communist Party celebrated its 90th Anniversary.  This is to give you the flavor of how they celebrate anniversaries in the PR of C.

Epic anniversary video, yes?  Clearly, momentous things are in motion, as we speak.  We now have ambitions for something like that for the YRC, so check back frequently as we...um...pull it all together.  Now, back to our regularly scheduled column!

The YRC Top Ten Reasons to Live in Shanghai:

But, Dad!  My shoes don't match my.....never mind.

Number 10:  The never-ending Shanghai  Fashion Adventure!  As the saying here goes:  "Shanghai, where every day is Halloween!"  Want to wear glasses without lenses in them?  Sure!  No problem!   Wear pajamas in the street?  Go for it, but please watch the trap door.  Shanghai has a "Go For It Comrade Fashionista" approach like no other city in the world.

Yes, we are so outrageously far from....and another Delirium, please.

Number 9:   Shanghai is the best "Soft Landing" city in Asia for expats.  Yes, Shanghai is one of the largest Chinese cities and throws many a challenge at laowai, like the vendors who kill and pluck chickens in the street, but what the heck!   You can order a pizza or walk down the street and have a burger and fries.  There are delivery services to bring you everything you need, including groceries, alcohol, laundry and food from almost every restaurant in town, including Mikey D's.  Need something?  Pick up the phone and press "2" for English.

If you buy 10, you get them for $1.00 each.

Number 8:  The extremely favorable government-controlled exchange rate. You may not agree with China's exchange policy but it makes many items here very...reasonable.


Tall bottle of excellent Tsing Tao beer...60 cents.  Cab ride all the way across town...Two dollars.  Full massage, manicure and pedicure at a five-star spa...$80.00.   
Dinner for four with drinks at local Hunan restaurant...$50.00.  First release DVDs?  $1.50. Custom tailored shirts? $12.00.   Suits?  $100.00.  And, of course, guitars.  Stratocaster copy?  Case, strings, and guitar...$130!  Who doesn't need one of those?  Nooooo tipping!   Nooooo services charges, except the hidden ones.  All this means that the cost of living (excluding housing) is quite low here.


Number 7:   Fireworks 24/7.   Wedding?  Boom!  Store opening?  Boom boom!  Bad day at the office.  BOOM!  Buy a couple of bricks of crackers and light 'em up!  Perfectly legal.  And Chinese New Years?  Forget abouddddiiittt!!   Badda Boom!

Honey, don't forget to wear your mask today!

Number 6:  Shanghai living  prepares your immune system for future biological warfare or epidemics.

After a year of residence you will have the Navy Seals of intestinal flora doing pushups in your lower intestine.  Hut hut hut hut.  Bad food....laughable man.   Bring it ON!  Mess with the best, die like the rest, total pwnage.  Hand me another Sheng jian (fried bun, 生煎), darlin!

Bad air?  No problem.  Stuff a few cigarette filters up your nose and hit the streets. Or the very fashionable surgical mask can help you blend in on a particularly dusty day.

It's Shanghai Crayfish Season!

Reason 5:  Shanghai has over 70,000 reported restaurants.  If you add street vendors, noodle shops and the itinerant sweet potato roasters, you probably have over 200,000 places to get a meal.

Plus, Shanghai is becoming an international foodie haven with all major cuisines represented.  All eight of the Chinese regional cuisines are here, including fiery Sichuan and noodley Cantonese and Shanghai specialties. French/Japanese fusion bistros are next to high-end steak houses with Spanish tapas places in between.  It is a massive munchathon and Micky D's is open 24/7.

You must be.....American.

Reason 4:  The People!  Shanghai is the new "mixing bowl" of the world.  You will go hiking in the mountains with folks from Israel, the United Kingdom, Australia, Italy, Brazil, Ireland, and Canada on a trip organized by a Chinese and a Pakistani.  Your neighbors are  Japanese, Russian and Spanish and the French are everywhere in the the...French Concession.  All of this mixing has the backdrop of the 24-million strong population of our generally patient Chinese hosts from every province in the country.

Reason 3: Location, location, location.  When it all gets to be toooooooo much, Shanghai is an excellent jumping off point to the Other side of the World.  Take the overnight ferry from the docks in Shanghai to Kyoto.  Jump on a plane to Hong Kong, Tokyo, Seoul or Bangkok...they're only a few hours away. It is, after all, the Center of the World.  Just make sure you DON'T eat the sushi (despite Reason Number 6) on a Chinese airline.

Reason 2:  Ease of living.  Getting around the city is as simple as jumping on the world's largest metro system, with 20 lines to take you anywhere for 45 cents.   Need a cab?  As long as it is not raining, they are plentiful, clean and cheap.  A single card can be used to pay for taxi, bus, metro, ferries and the occasional soda.  And all in relative safety as the crime rates are extremely low here.

And the Number One Reason to Live in Shanghai:   The Markets!   Need a cricket cage?  Check out the bird and cricket markets. Need a hair dryer?  Go to the street of hair dresser supplies.  It's right next to the street of musical instruments and just west of the street of calligraphy supplies.  Need some bondage crabs?  The seafood markets have more live animals than your local aquarium.  Need a copy of anything or everything all at easily negotiated pirate prices?  Hit one of the major thieves markets.  Furniture?  Bring a picture and they will make it for you.  Next-generation Japanese or Korean cell-phone.  Let's go to the giant Cybermart.


So that wraps this up, Rock Stars!  Thanks for coming to the party and make sure you take a cab home!  See you next week.