Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Happy Winter Break, Comrades!!
Thursday, December 15, 2011
Fuzzy Logic Control and the Shanghai BigBox Shopping Experience....
Hello there and welcome back to yet another Yellow RIver Chronicles. Sections of this week's missive were written on the Shanghai/Kunming China Eastern Flight MU5805 in seat 40J. The YRC staff was returning from a brief sojourn in faire Kunming, capital of Yunnan province in the far south of the good old PR of C. They have some fine mushrooms there. Other sections were written in Anji, home of the bamboo groves, during an adventure to see the Lunar Eclipse (no, there was not another ditch episode). This and other details of the adventure will be reported in a future YRC.But first, something topical. RETAIL! As we enter the final laps leading into the Big Laowai Holidays, we thought that this week we would address the one of the more curious of all Shanghai experiences, shopping in a Chinese BigBig Box Store.
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| Typical Shopping Street |
As background, traditional Shanghai shopping is centered around commercial streets and markets that hum with activity. The streets specialize in a particular activity.
There is the street of musicians, famous Jinling Lu, the street of bookstore, Fuzhou Lu, the street of hairdressing equipment, and many others, including the street of buttons. It was on the street of buttons that a YRC staff member engaged in a legendary negotiation over the price of six buttons. The initial asking price of 6 yuan (about 90 cents) was fought down to 3 yuan in a tense, high stakes battle of wits. As we learned in an earlier YRC, sometimes you negotiate (most shops and stalls), sometimes you do not (temples, tea stores and new book stores).
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| Seafood Market, Hong Kong |
Of the markets, the most interesting tend to be the seafood markets, where the Hairy Crabs bubble, the fish flop and the eels….eel. This is because the Chinese will not buy seafood unless it is alive. So, the seafood markets have more of a resemblance to aquariums than they do stores.
On other hand, the most challenging of all are the fresh meat markets. Most Shanghaiese do not have refrigeration, nor do they like to buy their meat cold. So most meat markets look like one of the "Halloween" series of horror movies. Shopping for meat is NOT FOR THE WEAK!!
On other hand, the most challenging of all are the fresh meat markets. Most Shanghaiese do not have refrigeration, nor do they like to buy their meat cold. So most meat markets look like one of the "Halloween" series of horror movies. Shopping for meat is NOT FOR THE WEAK!!
Because of these lovely retail traditions, the big box store is a novelty to most Chinese. There are Wall Marts (haven't been) and there used to be Best Buys (all six stores closed without notice) but our story lies with two gems of Chinese retail adventuring, Carrefours and Ikea.
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| Shanghai Carrefours Checkout. Photo Courtesy of The Telegraph. |
We will start with Carrefours. Carrefours are French superstores, managed by Chinese. So they have the benefit of both French and Chinese organization. We will let you think about that a moment as we move on.
The first thing one notices on arriving at a Carrefours is the noise level. All business in a Carrefours is completed at full volume, in ALL CAPS!!! The television sets in electronics are playing a high volume, as are the stereos. The Chinese love to buy via demonstrations, so there are always half a dozen product demonstrations going on around the store, usually with a Carrefours Pixie or two drawing in the crowds by yelling over the background noise at full volume in their handheld microphones.
There are staff everywhere, usually stationed at about 3 or 4 to an aisle to assist you in your product browsing. For example, to buy a pack of AAA batteries, one goes to the battery aisle, where there are at least 30 brands, all with different pricing scenarios. As you stand there, attempting to decipher the pricing and find the right size, a Pixie will come, and begin to hand you batteries from the wall display. The longer you stay, the more attention you attract....you obviously don't know what the hell you are doing. As you hand them back politely and they hand you a new selection, you have to wait for a break in the rhythmic exchange of battery packs to dart to the wall, grab a pack and escape.
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| Rice Cooker Aisle. Note Pixie at End. Photo Courtesy of mcljava. |
The YRC staff purchase of a rice cooker is an excellent example. We had in mind a Japanese rice maker because the instructions are in English. As we approached the aisle, we realized there were approximately 3,000 different models of rice cookers. A highly popular item, that.
As we worked our way down the aisle, we attracted the attention of Pixie the Aisle Helper North, who went with us into the middle section where we picked up Pixie the Aisle Helper Middle and then the four of us went on to work with Pixie the Aisle Helper South. The five of us now were intently gazing at the Japanese rice makers
Fuzzy Logic and Rice Cookers
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| "Fuzzy the Cooker" |
Fuzzy-logic rice cookers have computer chips that direct their ability to make proper adjustments to cooking time and temperature. Unlike basic rice cookers, which complete tasks in a single-minded, mechanical manner, the process behind the fuzzy-logic rice cookers needs a bit more explanation. The fuzzy sets theory, first proposed by UC Berkeley professor Lotfi Zadeh in 1965, laid the groundwork for fuzzy logic, which he also put forward in 1973. Fuzzy sets theory has to do with mathematical sets, or groups of items known as elements. In most mathematical sets, an element either belongs to the set or it doesn't. For example, a sparrow would belong to a set of birds, but a bat wouldn't. In fuzzy logic, though, elements can belong to sets in varying degrees. So since a bat has wings, it might belong to a set of birds -- but only to a certain extent. Fuzzy logic is basically a way to program machines so they look at the world in a more human way, with degrees of truth. Instead of cold, hard parameters and strict data sets, fuzzy logic assumes a more practical approach. Using numbers, it incorporates non-definitive words like "slightly" or "almost" into its decision-making processes. As a result, the use of fuzzy logic in rice cookers helps to ensure properly cooked rice because it gives the appliances the ability to make judgment calls similar to those a person might make, albeit typically better than those a hungry, impatient person might make.
Defeated, but wiser, and starting to crack under the barrage of sound from the blender demonstration going on in the next aisle, we grabbed a "Fuzzy" from a stack at the end of the aisle and exited stage right. One member of the YRC staff has vowed to never return. But "Fuzzy" does a good job and always cooks perfect rice. And when things get slow, we can always "Gong the Pan".
Generally, the retail chaos extends to all elements in the shopping process at Carrefours. The aisles swarm with shopping citizens earnestly discussing the merits of different brands of dried plums. Shopping carts move about with destructive ferocity. Citizens will often stop their group discussions to inspect what the Laowai have in their shopping cart. A passing matron will reach in and sort through the items in the cart.
A standing Laowai who is studying an entire wall of instant soup noodles will often attract a crowd who will then stand and look in the same direction to see what is going on. Shopping is a full-contact sport, people, and not for the indecisive or weak. If you want that, go to Lawsons (topic for a future YRC).
A standing Laowai who is studying an entire wall of instant soup noodles will often attract a crowd who will then stand and look in the same direction to see what is going on. Shopping is a full-contact sport, people, and not for the indecisive or weak. If you want that, go to Lawsons (topic for a future YRC).
Another excellent example of the retail process is the WSJ article," IKEA is a Swede Place for Love". We have posted it as a separate blog post so WSJ gets the credit and so you can believe the veracity of the materials. We refer to it as the invasion of the "Silver Haired Chattering Love Birds" in the Shanghai IKEA. Truth be told, the article speaks for itself. Pay particular attention to the eggshells and orange peels.
So curl up at the IKEA in a chair, take a nap, or break out your mobile device to read next weeks YRC. We will learn about another bird, the siberian seagull when we hang out at the Hiker's Cafe in Kunming! See you next week and keep the coffee hot for us.
Thursday, December 1, 2011
The Talking Dog and Other Adventures in Learning Mandarin...
Hello, greetings and welcome back to the almost legendary Yellow River Chronicles, distributed throughout the free world as a beacon of irritability and petulance in an otherwise content and harmonious globe.
This week, we shelve the promised "Run for the Crabs" report for an update on the climb up one of the world's steepest learning curves.....Mandarin. There are many articles on "Why Mandarin is Hard to Learn" and here is a link to a good one:
Great Article by David Moser on Why It's Soooo Hard.
So, there you have it. It is truly wonderful to have someone do our whining for us. Good work, Dave! With all that sorted out for us, we are now going to tackle the subject in the grand tradition of the YRC: with a total personal bias and general distortion of the facts. So here we GO!
Our experience has been that there are three (3) main reasons why the YRC staff smashes headfirst into the language barrier:
Reason the First: Most Chinese Would Prefer to Practice Their English Rather Than Listen to You Babbling Nonsense Like a Dental Patient. Some of the Chinese you meet in everyday life can not avoid helping you figure out how to order your noodles. (Wǒ yào miàntiáo. Shén me? Wǒ yào miàntiáo!)
In the same tradition of many cross-lingual interchanges, most Mandarin/English speaking exchanges result in the parties simply repeating the same words in their own language at a higher volume until someone gives up.
"I would like some noodles, please"
"Wo yao miantiao?"
"Noodles. I would LIKE some NOODLES!"
"Miantiao? MIANTIAO"?"
"NOODLES! LIKE HIM! NOODLES!"
However, in Shanghai, this tradition, like so many others, is rapidly changing as more and more Chinese begin to learn English. Here's a quick update from ABC News on the subject to provide some veracity the rest of the column...
For the adults, learning the language is more of a struggle but it doesn't deter them from trying. And many Chinese hope that more Americans do the same.
"I think that China is very important in the world," said one boy. "I wish that American people can speak, can study Chinese. I think that's very good for us to make friends with them."
Mandarin, Courtesy of LonelyPlanet.com
LonelyPlanet.com shared several Mandarin phrases with "World News with Diane Sawyer" as it broadcasts from China this week.
"Zhe dao cai zhenxiang" means I love this dish.
"Ganbei!" means Cheers!
"Ni neng bangwo jiao ge che ma?" means Can you call a taxi for me?
"Qingwen" means Excuse me, please?
"Wo jiao" means My name is ....
Example: A certain YRC staff member, who speaks rather good Mandarin and practices every day, recently called a restaurant to reserve a table. Mid-sentence, she was stopped by the hostess who simply said: "Why don't we just do this in English." A bit deflating, that, but a good example of Reason the First.
Reason the Second: Generally, a Mistake in Mandarin Will Create Some Very Odd Expressions and the Chinese Will Openly Point and Laugh at You Because You Sound Like a Total Idiot. As David mentioned earlier, Mandarin is a tonal language. That means that exact same word has four different meanings depending which of the four tones is used. Here's a quick review from About.com.
So, the means using the word "ma" can mean mother, hemp, horse or scold, or....(wait for it) it can also be a question, if the tone is neutral. So you can get, "How is your horse feeling?" "Is that handbag made of mother" and other tragedies of communication.
This extreme communication risk leads of a hesitancy in practicing Mandarin in public. There is always the worry that an attempt to negotiate a price on a rice steamer will end up in a situation similar to those childhood fear dreams.
You know, where an entire nation forms a ring around you and points and laughs because you are SUCH a DORK. And then there's the naked dreams and the wrestling a goldfish dreams, but we'll get back to you on that.
This week, we shelve the promised "Run for the Crabs" report for an update on the climb up one of the world's steepest learning curves.....Mandarin. There are many articles on "Why Mandarin is Hard to Learn" and here is a link to a good one:
Great Article by David Moser on Why It's Soooo Hard.
So, there you have it. It is truly wonderful to have someone do our whining for us. Good work, Dave! With all that sorted out for us, we are now going to tackle the subject in the grand tradition of the YRC: with a total personal bias and general distortion of the facts. So here we GO!
Our experience has been that there are three (3) main reasons why the YRC staff smashes headfirst into the language barrier:
Reason the First: Most Chinese Would Prefer to Practice Their English Rather Than Listen to You Babbling Nonsense Like a Dental Patient. Some of the Chinese you meet in everyday life can not avoid helping you figure out how to order your noodles. (Wǒ yào miàntiáo. Shén me? Wǒ yào miàntiáo!)
In the same tradition of many cross-lingual interchanges, most Mandarin/English speaking exchanges result in the parties simply repeating the same words in their own language at a higher volume until someone gives up.
"I would like some noodles, please"
"Wo yao miantiao?"
"Noodles. I would LIKE some NOODLES!"
"Miantiao? MIANTIAO"?"
"NOODLES! LIKE HIM! NOODLES!"
However, in Shanghai, this tradition, like so many others, is rapidly changing as more and more Chinese begin to learn English. Here's a quick update from ABC News on the subject to provide some veracity the rest of the column...
Ganbei!! China Embraces English Language
In an effort to promote internationalism, China is learning English.
In the next five years, all state employees younger than 40 will be required to master at least 1,000 English phrases, and all schools will begin teaching English in kindergarten. The government also is funding extensive teacher training programs to find new models for language learning and develop new textbooks.
Check the end of this story for a few phrases in Mandarin, courtesy of LonelyPlanet.
Parents who can afford to, are sending their children -- some as young as 2 -- to private language schools that are popping up all over the country. By the time they are 10, the children will be fluent.
"China is more open to the world," said one teacher. "We [the older generation] want our kids to open their eyes to get to know the world [and] look at China not only from standing in China but from outside of China as well."
State-run TV launched an "American Idol"-type of reality show where kids have to sell themselves in English to clinch the judges' votes.
Signs in not-quite-right English -- "Car Repairable," "Cosme Toulogy" and "Welcom Go Home" -- can be found across the country.
ABCNEWS.com
Diane Sits Down With Billionaire Jack Ma Watch Video
Working for the Future Watch Video
Stunning Economic Growth in ChinaWatch Video
For the adults, learning the language is more of a struggle but it doesn't deter them from trying. And many Chinese hope that more Americans do the same.
"I think that China is very important in the world," said one boy. "I wish that American people can speak, can study Chinese. I think that's very good for us to make friends with them."
Mandarin, Courtesy of LonelyPlanet.com
LonelyPlanet.com shared several Mandarin phrases with "World News with Diane Sawyer" as it broadcasts from China this week.
"Zhe dao cai zhenxiang" means I love this dish. "Ganbei!" means Cheers! "Ni neng bangwo jiao ge che ma?" means Can you call a taxi for me? "Qingwen" means Excuse me, please? "Wo jiao" means My name is ....Reason the Second: Generally, a Mistake in Mandarin Will Create Some Very Odd Expressions and the Chinese Will Openly Point and Laugh at You Because You Sound Like a Total Idiot. As David mentioned earlier, Mandarin is a tonal language. That means that exact same word has four different meanings depending which of the four tones is used. Here's a quick review from About.com.
The Four Tones of Mandarin
By Qiu Gui Su, About.com Guide
Mandarin uses four tones to clarify the meanings of words. Since many characters have the same sound, tones are used to differentiate words from each other.
The four tones in Mandarin are:
- high level – first tone
- rising – second tone
- falling rising – third tone
- falling – fourth tone
Pinyin uses either numbers or tone marks to indicate the tones. Here is the word ‘ma’ with tone marks:
- First tone: ma1 or mā
- Second tone: ma2 or má
- Third tone: ma3 or mǎ
- Fourth tone: ma4 or mà
The tones are used to determine the meaning of a Mandarin word. So mǎ (horse) is very different from mā (mother).
When learning new vocabulary you must practice both the pronunciation of the word and its tone. The wrong tones can change the meaning of your sentences.
The following table has sound clips which allow you to hear the tones. Listen to each tone and try to mimic it as closely as possible.
The Four Tones of Mandarin
| Pinyin | Chinese Character | Meaning | Sound Clip |
| mā | 媽 | mother | audio |
| má | 麻 | hemp | audio |
| mǎ | 馬 | horse | audio |
| mà | 罵 | scold | audio |
So, the means using the word "ma" can mean mother, hemp, horse or scold, or....(wait for it) it can also be a question, if the tone is neutral. So you can get, "How is your horse feeling?" "Is that handbag made of mother" and other tragedies of communication.
This extreme communication risk leads of a hesitancy in practicing Mandarin in public. There is always the worry that an attempt to negotiate a price on a rice steamer will end up in a situation similar to those childhood fear dreams.
You know, where an entire nation forms a ring around you and points and laughs because you are SUCH a DORK. And then there's the naked dreams and the wrestling a goldfish dreams, but we'll get back to you on that.
Example: One of the YRC staff (the one who is not nearly as fluent as the other one) was conversing with a doorman about the weather (Is it hot outside?) to which the doorman laughed and said "You're hungry?"
He walked away chortling and we were happy to have made his day. He probably still tells the story at his local club, the Laughing Doorman.
Reason the Third: You are a Talking Dog. Most gweizi are in Shanghai for a short period of time and don't have enough time to learn much Mandarin. This, along with the relative isolation of the expat community and the ability of many Shanghaiese to speak English, means that most foreigners in Shanghai start a conversation assuming that the other party will know enough English to keep things moving.
This, friends, creates the Talking Dog effect. Any attempt to speak Mandarin (Ignoring the first two reasons) that actually says the right thing at the right time creates a response similar to a dog suddenly making polite conversation.
Example: A common Mandarin greeting is "nǐ chī le ma" or, "have you eaten"? It is similar to "How Ya Doing?" or "S'up?" in American English. The phrase is not generally used by the expat population because we are taught the totally dorky and wrong greeting phrases to identify us as foreign dorkoids in language schools run by foreign Master Dorks.
The YRC staff accidentally used the correct phrase with the correct tones recently in a apartment elevator. The response was the look of someone who has just met...the Talking Dog in a Disney movie. "What did he just say?? He can talk!!" The crowd in the elevator collapsed in amazement and wonder as the Dog meditated on consequences of Reason the Third.
And, we hope you will have a Reason to come back next week when we discuss "Invasion of the Senior Lonely Hearts." Woof! WOOF!
He walked away chortling and we were happy to have made his day. He probably still tells the story at his local club, the Laughing Doorman.
Reason the Third: You are a Talking Dog. Most gweizi are in Shanghai for a short period of time and don't have enough time to learn much Mandarin. This, along with the relative isolation of the expat community and the ability of many Shanghaiese to speak English, means that most foreigners in Shanghai start a conversation assuming that the other party will know enough English to keep things moving.
This, friends, creates the Talking Dog effect. Any attempt to speak Mandarin (Ignoring the first two reasons) that actually says the right thing at the right time creates a response similar to a dog suddenly making polite conversation.
Example: A common Mandarin greeting is "nǐ chī le ma" or, "have you eaten"? It is similar to "How Ya Doing?" or "S'up?" in American English. The phrase is not generally used by the expat population because we are taught the totally dorky and wrong greeting phrases to identify us as foreign dorkoids in language schools run by foreign Master Dorks.
The YRC staff accidentally used the correct phrase with the correct tones recently in a apartment elevator. The response was the look of someone who has just met...the Talking Dog in a Disney movie. "What did he just say?? He can talk!!" The crowd in the elevator collapsed in amazement and wonder as the Dog meditated on consequences of Reason the Third.
And, we hope you will have a Reason to come back next week when we discuss "Invasion of the Senior Lonely Hearts." Woof! WOOF!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
It's Getting Hairy in the 'Hai!
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| The Famous Hairy Crab (Photo Courtesy of Shanghai Week) |
To get this thing rolling, some background. The "hairy crab" or "mitten crab" is a delicacy here in the 'Hai. Locals take the 1.5 hour drive out to YangCheng Lake to chomp on metric TONS of the little dudes.
Hairy crab is an excellent example of all things Chinese. Why, you may mumble as you sit in front of your Chinese-made computer, wearing clothes (I hope!) made in China, and surrounded by a large number of Chinese-made items.
Well, three reasons, really. First, the way the crabs are purchased and consumed is uniquely Chinese, second, the crabs are an invasive-species in rest of the world (truth!) and third, they are subject to counterfeiting. Yes, children's, there are FAKE crabs here in the 'Hai, as we shall demonstrate.
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| The Mysterious Bondage Crab (Photo Courtesy of Talk Magazine) |
But let us start with how the Yellow River Staff was introduced to the hairy crab. Last year, about this time, we began seeing dozens of bondage crabs, little green guys tied tightly with string, blowing bubbles as they lurked in tubs at all the seafood stalls. "Hairy Crab" season, our Shanghai friends declared. "You should eat some."
Naaaaahhhhhh, we said. We have had several matches with Shanghai seafood and always lost in the first round.
Naaaaahhhhhh, we said. We have had several matches with Shanghai seafood and always lost in the first round.
But our interest grew when we learned of Crabgate. The staff of Dow China takes an annual trip to eat crabs during hairy crab season. The company hosts an all expense paid bus run to famous YangCheng Lake, home of the BEST hairy crabs in all of China. Employees get a free bus trip, a big meal of hairy crab and the traditional box of crabs to take home.
This is all very Chinese, by the way. Bus trip! Food! Free gifts! So there was a large turnout. But all was not fun and revelry, dear leaders. There was shame and the loss of family honor. Read on then, this blog post of an email that appeared shortly after the trip:
This is all very Chinese, by the way. Bus trip! Food! Free gifts! So there was a large turnout. But all was not fun and revelry, dear leaders. There was shame and the loss of family honor. Read on then, this blog post of an email that appeared shortly after the trip:
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| Young Hu, Prior to CrabGate. |
From: Hu, Laker (LJ)
Sent: Monday, November 29, 2010 5:36 PM
To: FCYRECR
To: FCYRECR
Dear FCYRECR and my Dow friends in CC list,
I’d like to share with you a story of my family, which happened after my trip back from the YangCheng Lake last Saturday.
As per the trip agenda, at the end of the trip, colleagues who registered for YangCheng Lake can take 5 pairs of Crabs( female crab ~225g and male crab ~ 250g), which is clearly written in the trip agenda, public on intranet. So, I registered and confirmed the trip several weeks ago, and delighted to tell my parents that I would bring back 5 pairs of crabs after the trip, with each pair of female crab ~225g and male crab ~ 250g. My mother was pretty happy once heard the news, so a few days later, she nicely invited my sister and brother in law to come over for the crabs. Last Saturday when I was back home from the trip, my sister and brother in law had already arrived, and along with my parents waiting for me back home to cook the crab, to have a weekend family reunion dinner. As I had already knew that the crabs were smaller than what I told in my early promise, so I frankly told my family of it. Then there happened something unpleasant afterwards. My mother was quite disappointed on it, and my father also got a little upset on it. My sister and brother in law, as being guests, helped easing my parents, with no comment on it. That moment, I felt so embarrassed and guilty!!! I felt that I just cheated my parents in front of my family members, though I was innocent. But still, I couldn’t forgive myself of that at the moment! How could a son cheat his parents, and got his parents embarrassed in front of family members. I definitely couldn’t forgive myself of that. The dinner that night was long and silent for me… …
I’ve been working for Dow for 4.5 years with proud, and my Dow friends also feel proud of being a member of Dow Family. We all LOVE our company, and dedicate ourselves to the company. Hereby, I’d like to take the chance to talk something about my parents as well. My parents are also proud of their son, me, being an employee of Dow Chemical. I can see their proud from their smiles when I get off work back home everyday, I can hear their proud from their conversation with the neighbors in my community, I can feel their proud from my heart deeply, as I am my parents’ son.
Dow has company vision of being a respectful company in the world, and I’ve been taking every of my efforts on building up company’s credibility in all aspects, and I am so sure that all my Dow friends are proud of doing the same thing as me. I am now worrying that the unpleasant thing happened to my family members last Saturday might cause potential negative opinions or comments to my family, to my friends, or even to my community, however, I trust that the company will give me a acceptable reason to explain, which I can bring it back to my family.
Thank you so much for your time on reading above, and your concerning on the matter in advance.
Last but not least, for my Dow friends who have similar concerns with me, thank you for your supporting on me, I appreciate if you also can have your voice heard by the company.
Sincerely, Laker
Back to Our Story:
Such is the beginning of Crabgate. The controversy echoed through the halls of TDCC China Central in Shanghai as the employees shared and debated the article. Was Laker entitled to a crab rebate? Should the President of TDCC China call his parents and apologize? How big were the crabs, really, and what did the flyer for the trip mean as an actual contract? How will he ever recover from this loss?While the debate scuttled like ragged claws across the floor on noisy seas, we at the YRC imaged the homecoming scene:
The scene, a small apartment in Shanghai. The parents have decorated the living/dining room in honor of the son's return, the plates have been laid on the table and the family has discussed at length the enthusiasm for eating hairy crab.
The door opens and young Hu strides into the room to shouts and applause. The box of crabs is triumphantly opened. The group falls silent as the tiny, bound crabs bounce out on the kitchen table. After a moment of disbelief, the mother collapses in tears and the father points his finger angrily at this son. The siblings hang their heads in dismay at the tragedy that is unfolding before them.
The door opens and young Hu strides into the room to shouts and applause. The box of crabs is triumphantly opened. The group falls silent as the tiny, bound crabs bounce out on the kitchen table. After a moment of disbelief, the mother collapses in tears and the father points his finger angrily at this son. The siblings hang their heads in dismay at the tragedy that is unfolding before them.
"We were promised 225 gram females and 250 gram males! You worthless dogshead! You spineless nitwit! These are probably only 200 grams! Your company's credibility is at risk and you have cheated your family."
Mother Hu goes to the kitchen to cook the tiny crabs and sobs quietly as their tiny bodies fall into the pot. The table falls silent. Young Hu covers his face in desperation. How could this happen? What had he done wrong?
Well, that's the way we imagine it happened, anyway. You can make up your own version of the scene if you want, and have family members play the five parts.
As it turns out, Young Hu eventually left the company. Apparently, his Shanghai colleagues tormented him with "your crabs are too small" commentary until he was forced to find a smaller company with more honorable intentions.
So Crabgate drew the YRC staff's attention to hairy crab season. Apparently, it was more than just autumnal crustacean slaughter. Drama? Ridicule? Draw closer and tell us more, please.
The Second Reason:
The second item that makes hairy crabs uniquely Chinese is that they are loved in China but considered invasive elsewhere: This from good old Wikipedia:
Mitten/Hairy Crabs as Invasive species
This species has been spread to North America and Europe, raising concerns that it competes with local species, and its burrowing nature damages embankments and clogs drainage systems.[3][4] The crabs can make significant inland migrations. It was reported in the London Evening Standard in 1995 that the residents of Greenwich saw Chinese mitten crabs coming out of the River Thames and moving towards the High Street, and other reports indicate that the crabs have been known to take up residence in swimming pools. In some places the crabs have been found hundreds of miles from the sea. There is concern in areas with a substantial native crab fishery, such as the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland and the Hudson River in New York(both locations where the crabs were first spotted in 2005), as the impact of the invasion by this species on the native population is unknown.[5]
It is generally illegal to import, transport, or possess live Chinese mitten crabs in the United States,[6] as accidental release or escape risks spreading these crabs to uninfested waters. In addition, some states may have their own restrictions on possession of mitten crabs.[7] California allows fishing for mitten crabs with some restrictions.[8]
The Chinese mitten crab has been introduced into the Great Lakes several times, but have not yet been able to establish a permanent population.[9]
The Smithsonian is tracking the spread of the Chinese mitten crab and seeking help to determine the current distribution status of the mitten crab in the Chesapeake Bay region. People are encouraged to report any mitten crab sightings, along with details (date, specific location, size) and a close-up photograph or specimen if possible. The first confirmed record along the East coast of the United States, was in the Chesapeake Bay near Baltimore, Maryland in 2005.[10]
Hairy Crab Invasion Alert!
Mitten/Hairy Crabs as Invasive species
This species has been spread to North America and Europe, raising concerns that it competes with local species, and its burrowing nature damages embankments and clogs drainage systems.[3][4] The crabs can make significant inland migrations. It was reported in the London Evening Standard in 1995 that the residents of Greenwich saw Chinese mitten crabs coming out of the River Thames and moving towards the High Street, and other reports indicate that the crabs have been known to take up residence in swimming pools. In some places the crabs have been found hundreds of miles from the sea. There is concern in areas with a substantial native crab fishery, such as the Chesapeake Bay in Maryland and the Hudson River in New York(both locations where the crabs were first spotted in 2005), as the impact of the invasion by this species on the native population is unknown.[5]
It is generally illegal to import, transport, or possess live Chinese mitten crabs in the United States,[6] as accidental release or escape risks spreading these crabs to uninfested waters. In addition, some states may have their own restrictions on possession of mitten crabs.[7] California allows fishing for mitten crabs with some restrictions.[8]
The Chinese mitten crab has been introduced into the Great Lakes several times, but have not yet been able to establish a permanent population.[9]
The Smithsonian is tracking the spread of the Chinese mitten crab and seeking help to determine the current distribution status of the mitten crab in the Chesapeake Bay region. People are encouraged to report any mitten crab sightings, along with details (date, specific location, size) and a close-up photograph or specimen if possible. The first confirmed record along the East coast of the United States, was in the Chesapeake Bay near Baltimore, Maryland in 2005.[10]
Hairy Crab Invasion Alert!
So, listen UP, people. If you spot a boundage crab swimming laps in your pool or shopping on the High Street in London for rope, CALL THE SMITHSONIAN IMMEDIATELY!
I understand that they are working on a new version of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" called "Werecrabs of London" that goes something like this:
I saw a crab with a Chinese menu in his hand
walking sideways through the streets of Soho in the rain.
He was lookin for the place called Lee Ho Fooks, gonna get a big dish of snow crab mein.
Chorus:
Aaahoo, werecrabs of London
Aaahoo(2x)
Ya hear him clickin' around your kitchen door, ya better not let him in.
Little old lady got masticated late last night, werecrabs of London again.
Chorus 2x
He's the hairy, hairy crab, who ran amok in Bath.
Lately he's been scuttling 'round in Mayfair.
You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out Jim.
Huh, I'd like to cook him later.
Chorus 2x
Well, I saw Lon Chaney walkin with the queen, looking for werecrabs of London.
I saw Lon Chaney Jr. walkin with the queen, doin the werecrab of London
I saw a werecrab drinkin a pina colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect.
ahhhooooo, werecrabs of London
Drawn Butter!
In case you are not familar with the classic Zevon tune, here is the link to see a video of Mr. Zevon and band in action:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x19tph_warren-zevon-werewolves-of-london_fun
Lets Wrap this Up, Rockstars!!
The third item that makes hairy crabs uniquely Chinese is because the are highly valued in China, they are subject to counterfeiting or fakes. Here's the scoop from good old Shanghaiist.
I understand that they are working on a new version of Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London" called "Werecrabs of London" that goes something like this:
I saw a crab with a Chinese menu in his hand
walking sideways through the streets of Soho in the rain.
He was lookin for the place called Lee Ho Fooks, gonna get a big dish of snow crab mein.
Chorus:
Aaahoo, werecrabs of London
Aaahoo(2x)
Ya hear him clickin' around your kitchen door, ya better not let him in.
Little old lady got masticated late last night, werecrabs of London again.
Chorus 2x
He's the hairy, hairy crab, who ran amok in Bath.
Lately he's been scuttling 'round in Mayfair.
You better stay away from him, he'll rip your lungs out Jim.
Huh, I'd like to cook him later.
Chorus 2x
Well, I saw Lon Chaney walkin with the queen, looking for werecrabs of London.
I saw Lon Chaney Jr. walkin with the queen, doin the werecrab of London
I saw a werecrab drinkin a pina colada at Trader Vic's
And his hair was perfect.
ahhhooooo, werecrabs of London
Drawn Butter!
In case you are not familar with the classic Zevon tune, here is the link to see a video of Mr. Zevon and band in action:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x19tph_warren-zevon-werewolves-of-london_fun
Lets Wrap this Up, Rockstars!!
The third item that makes hairy crabs uniquely Chinese is because the are highly valued in China, they are subject to counterfeiting or fakes. Here's the scoop from good old Shanghaiist.
Bootleg crabs mar another hairy crab season
By Benjamin Cost
The annual scourge of bootleg hairy crabs, one of China's most notorious counterfeit items, will ensure that you have a less than merry Autumn hairy crab season.
The annual scourge of bootleg hairy crabs, one of China's most notorious counterfeit items, will ensure that you have a less than merry Autumn hairy crab season.
Each fall, hairy crab pirates duplicate China's most coveted crustacean: the Yangcheng Lake hairy crab, an expensive delicacy prized for its sweet, delicate meat.
Unfortunately for the Yangcheng Lake Hairy Crab Association, shanzai crabs are here to stay, unlike shanzai phones which are on their way out: the counterfeit market for hairy crabs is ten times greater than that for authentic hairy crabs. Just ask local crabber Xing, who says, "Everything is being counterfeited. There's nothing you can do about it. And you can't control it."
And believe us, the Yangcheng Lake Hairy Crab Association has tried everything from hiking up the price by 10 to 20 percent in 2010 to giving every shipment a 12-digit security code. This year, they distributed 15 million plastic "crab authentication" tags complete with serial numbers and a toll-free number to help customers distinguish their crabs from the fugazis.
Did we mention that sellers have even taken to using lasers to etch serial numbers onto the crabs themselves? The hairy crab black market is not to be toyed with, apparently.
Even still, the authenticity tags aren't entirely trustworthy, as many tagged crabs don't even originate in Yangcheng Lake, located 3km northeast of Suzhou. Many crabs spend only half a year before the harvest at Yangcheng Lake, since six months is the minimum period required for a crab to get its Yangcheng Lake bona fides. Increasingly, more and more alien crabs will have to be imported to the lake due to nearby human development interrupting crab breeding patterns (after all, the lake's just a short train ride from Shanghai).
Let's Wrap this Up, Rockstars!
So before you tear into that big plate of hairy crabs or invite one back to your house for a pina colada and a little bondage action, be sure to CHECK the TAB, kids, or look for the lasered security codes on the back. They are not what they seem!
And check the tags we will, until next week as the YRC staff actually heads to Yangcheng Lake to check this out personally! See ya then, and remember, if you like the YRC, forward it to someone else with time on their hands. Thanks again!
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