The Three Plagues of Shanghai at the Yellow River Chronicles!

We are coming to destroy your city....resistance is futile.

Hello, greetings and welcome back to the Yellow River Chronicles.

As you may recall, we were supposed to continue with the final phase of the jocular adventures of the Three Buddhas.

But, instead of that tepid nonsense, we have breaking, urgent news here in the 'Hai.


As you may be aware, the Neon City has been having...well, animal problems in April, the cruelest month.  There are two current problems, and one potential future problem.  Why, because trouble ALWAYS comes in threes.

Problem the First:   As reported in, "Waiter, There Is A Pig In My Soup" there was the invasion of the Deadly River Pigs.  Footage below:

The Aquatic Porcine invasion ended with over 12,000 bobbing bacon bandits coming ashore in the 'Hai before being hauled away.  As a result, all of the pork in town was suspect and the other other white meat was no longer on the menu.  Restaurants quit serving any and all pork dishes, ham sandwiches were confiscated on the street and all of the pork in town got the "chop".

Then, just as things were settling down, a second plague appeared.
  

Problem the Second:   A particularly nasty strain of Avian flu, H7N9, has caused a near-panic and resulted in the summary execution of tens of thousands of chickens in the Shanghai area.





Here, in a YRC exclusive, is footage of the cull at a local Swedish restaurant:

And so another meat has disappeared from the tables, menus and hearts of the citizens of the Neon City.  Colonel Sanders is in tears, Mickey D's has switched to "Tofu McNuggets" (...a bit bland, sneers our YRC Senior Food Food Editor), and Buffalo chicken wings have now been replaced by "goat elbows" and such.  

Look!  A dragon. And ice cream!

The question now, during the Revenge of the Chinese Zodiac, is which animal will be the third and final seeker of vengeance in the Triad of Fear?  

It has been noted that the Chinese will consume all the members of the Chinese Zodiac except the dragon.  Dragons?  Nahhh.  Too cute these days.

Could it be that, the Japanese, finally tired of all the bickering about the <insert politically sensitive topic here...maybe islands> would unleash the fury of a favorite Japanese pre-historic lizard?

Watch next week as we tie the Three Buddhas and the Three Plagues together in an EPIC, never before seen, Yellow River Chronicles.  Until then, keep your radios turned up!